I have been desperate to get a place back in LA, not
only because of the suitcase issue but because I just love the city. The fact
that everywhere you go, people are talking about TV and film; the great service
in almost every restaurant and bar; the terrific bus service (people still
laugh at me, but it’s mega cheap and regular, and the drivers are a darn sight
nicer than the taxi drivers - and, more to the point, know where they are
going); the weather – it’s my kind of town (as the song goes).
But it’s impossible to find an apartment that is
exactly right. I took one of my landlords (who charged me a fortune for a place
that was mediocre, at best) to court last year (and won), so nice as anyone
seems at the outset, it can still turn sour. In my experience, it is better to
go with a company, even if you have to pay a little above the odds and
compromise a little on space. But at least, unlike private landlords, a company
is professional and doesn’t try to do you over when you leave.
So while I’ve been looking, it’s been suitcase time, and
I also returned to Miami for Britweek Visits Miami. The annual LA Britweek event
(now two weeks), set up by UK TV producer Nigel Lythgoe and ex-diplomat Bob
Peirce and his wife Sharron, has been running for seven years. This was its first
showing out of California and a jolly time was had by all.
There are
apparently plans afoot to twin Miami with my local home city of Cardiff in
South Wales. Miami is fairly hot for most of the year; Cardiff is the second
wettest city in the UK. We have the M4 and the Severn Bridge that carries
people with ease from England into Wales; Miami is a congestion of taxis in a
tortoise marathon, and if you want to get anywhere, you should have set out
yesterday.
Cardiff has the Millennium Stadium and rugby; Miami,
Marlins Park and baseball (and if you want to get there in a hurry, you should
have set off last week). Cardiff has the River Taff on its doorstep; Miami has
the Atlantic Ocean.
You can’t get a drink in Miami after 2am (and most places,
apart from nighclubs, are wiping down tables before midnight; Cardiff was
recently names the drinking capital of Europe (as the packed police cells and A
& E on a Saturday night bear witness).
Yes, it’s easy to see why, given how much the two
cities have in common, they should be paired.
I actually hope it comes off. Justin Jones, who with
his wife Taima pulled off Britweek in Miami, is Welsh. Many local businesses
participated in particular events, while some big businesses from other parts
of the US sponsored others. And I even got to have my picture taken with Lennox
Lewis, who was a guest speaker at the opening gala. He’s a big boy.
My trip back to LA was not without incident. Having
been somehow downgraded on American Airlines, I found myself hemmed in next to
an enormous woman from Virginia who might even have been Virginia, such was her
bulk. Her knitting needles were already clacking away at a jumper clearly
intended for her 60 stone niece, and the eight gallon carton of Pepsi was
sitting precariously on the tiny table between us. Her leg, which was about the
size of Gibralter, was up on the dashboard in front of us.
It was all too much. Too big. Too much. Too in my
face. Too overwhelming for my five foot stature. And I had a massive
claustrophic panic attack and almost passed out. The plane was full, so moving
to the better seat where I belonged was not an option. Getting off appeared to
be the only one. Ground staff were called, but I was told I would have to be on
stand-by on any other flight (which would have been a whole lot of other
stress). The captain came to see me and asked if I was afraid of flying. No. I
do it all the time. Was I on any meds? No. Are you sure you’re not on any meds?
NO!
He explained that he didn’t want to have to land
somewhere mid-flight to get me off, and I told him that this was precisely why
I was bringing it up before the doors closed.
Anyway, Virginia and her continent of sweater kindly
moved to the window seat and I spent a calm flight back to LA in her aisle
seat, from where I watched All About Eve and Hitchcock, starring Anthony
Hopkins in the lead.
I love the way his accent keeps slipping into his
native Welsh – I will never be able to think of Psy-kaw in quite the same way
again.
Come the great twinning programme with Cardiff, they’ll all be speaking
like that in Miami by Christmas.
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